he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
is wine microwaveable?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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