this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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