The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize