So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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