Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
