You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
