to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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