HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
