that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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