Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
