By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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