he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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