It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
