so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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