Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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