Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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