why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?