you would pick up someone in the library
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.