i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
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Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza