so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
