Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.