my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.