She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
