quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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