i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
