Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.