Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow

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  (773): I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/1xbr
  Replies (17) Good night (3392) Bad night (817)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.

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  (402): giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/384y
  Replies (57) Good night (4180) Bad night (924)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner

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  (847): so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner http://tfl.nu/rb90
  Replies (20) Good night (4816) Bad night (633)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.

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  (210): He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax. http://tfl.nu/uaku
  Replies (14) Good night (1218) Bad night (7770)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.

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  (856): It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk. http://tfl.nu/u52z
  Replies (19) Good night (3803) Bad night (1579)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear

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  (219): my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear http://tfl.nu/60vm
  Replies (11) Good night (2139) Bad night (727)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.

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  (903): Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/q5rg
  Replies (4) Good night (1258) Bad night (463)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it

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  (614): I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it http://tfl.nu/e9vj
  Replies (5) Good night (1345) Bad night (475)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"

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  (203): If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am" http://tfl.nu/kogk
  Replies (5) Good night (623) Bad night (1393)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today

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  (423): can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today http://tfl.nu/jv97
  Replies (3) Good night (901) Bad night (433)
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  (925): View more from California

  I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great

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  (925): I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great http://tfl.nu/slai
  Replies (1) Good night (651) Bad night (773)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning

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  (434): Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning http://tfl.nu/g13p
  Replies (4) Good night (1015) Bad night (312)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.

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  (585): Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire. http://tfl.nu/1iqw
  Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (357)
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  (914): View more from New York

  You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.

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  (914): You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow? (216): We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans. http://tfl.nu/x8ub
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?

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  (607): I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing? http://tfl.nu/ocvg
  Replies (4) Good night (244) Bad night (644)

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