Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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