Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch

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(917): its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch http://tfl.nu/4wbs

Replies (4) Good night (5389) Bad night (853)
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(817): View more from Texas

well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while

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(817): well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while http://tfl.nu/ax7b

Replies (33) Good night (1744) Bad night (5097)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club

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(732): It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club http://tfl.nu/j8mx

Replies (14) Good night (6050) Bad night (1099)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.

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(410): I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator. http://tfl.nu/m1m0

Replies (10) Good night (1628) Bad night (3153)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".

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(859): The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis". http://tfl.nu/o2ql

Replies (9) Good night (3293) Bad night (1172)
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(425): View more from Washington

I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.

(1-425): View more from Washington

No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.

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(425): I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool. (1-425): No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes. http://tfl.nu/wqbv

Replies (2) Good night (2499) Bad night (850)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.

(262): View more from Wisconsin

I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.

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(262): Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward. (262): I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win. http://tfl.nu/2vvo

Replies (18) Good night (841) Bad night (1826)
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(760): View more from California

But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy

(530): View more from California

I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast

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(760): But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy (530): I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast http://tfl.nu/lbbf

Replies (11) Good night (3338) Bad night (630)
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(727): View more from Florida

I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.

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(727): I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly. http://tfl.nu/hgem

Replies (6) Good night (1603) Bad night (376)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

$450 apparently whoopwhoop

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(412): How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in? (412): $450 apparently whoopwhoop http://tfl.nu/9hqx

Replies (6) Good night (374) Bad night (636)
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(727): View more from Florida

So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.

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(727): So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink. http://tfl.nu/ln3w

Replies (4) Good night (831) Bad night (427)
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(650): View more from California

Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt

(1-650): View more from California

Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here

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(650): Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt (1-650): Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here http://tfl.nu/56ff

Replies (0) Good night (787) Bad night (397)
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(620): View more from Kansas

There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos

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(620): There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos http://tfl.nu/lt0j

Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (279)
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(425): View more from Washington

When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.

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(425): When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately. http://tfl.nu/qs87

Replies (1) Good night (701) Bad night (236)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck

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(603): I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck http://tfl.nu/hnq6

Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (175)

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