with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
