I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
