This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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