...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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