THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
