The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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