Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
