You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
