I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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