It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
