And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
