peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
