You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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