She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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