i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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