Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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