Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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