don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize