im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
