This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
