I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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