I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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