we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You can't special order awesome
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
