The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
