she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
