my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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