I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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