You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
