Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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