Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
