It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize