my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
