god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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