I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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