I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
