in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
